Friday, October 21, 2011

The Crooked Cook and a Misbehaved Maid with a weird out Wife

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh

When a man fires a cook for his wife, it's either a new cook or an angry wife.

This story is about cooks and maids. Till date we have changed 3 cooks and 6 maids. All of them have failed unreasonably and always their tenure ends with absurdity. Without sounding rude, i want to say that they don't live up to our simple expectations. Expecting a bit of ethics and punctuality is definitely not a bad idea.Unfortunately I have a busy workholic wife and fortunately a little kid . Being helpless i have to depend on cook and maid to run the show.

The 3 things that a person has to follow to make his wife's life easy are

1. Never ask her when she will come home.
2. Get a cook.
3. Get a maid.

Else you will be held responsible for their all their problems and not the stupid cortisol that gets secreted while they work like dogs in their offices. I didn't mean that they are dogs. They work like that but ya they do come home and bark on us. Anyway let’s talk about cooks and maids. Hence i have some liberal policies in place for them. I do respect them and infact help them whenever they approach me asking money in advance.No matter how much i pamper them and worship them to a ridiculous extent, they let my wife down leaving her emotionally disturbed.They didn't inform her about their leave plans, they didn't pick her calls. This happened several times. She had to cook on such occasions. While she was just emotionally disturbed, i was physically unnerved. I mean i had to wash the utensils till late night.

Indian women are smart. They plan well in advance. But when it comes to implementation they turn to fools. I mean their husbands. As usual it was left to me to handle the situation. She hires and I fire. I hate to do it.

I am well known for giving lenience to cooks and maids. I am infamous for saying
"I think our maid is underpaid and overworked. We need to pay her some more".
"It's festival time. We need to pay them something extra".

I am also well known for sending out mails to our online apartment forum recommending them to others and inturn giving them references. So how can i hurt them?

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker --- Woody Allen

Finally our cook was silently fried and politely fired. But i was quick to open my laptop, search my inbox and give him 2 or 3 references. Maid was just warned. Why? I can be on a diet but i don’t want to wash the utensils!!!

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